Noise Rock Musician Lauded For Playing Instrument Correctly

Fans fawn over Gary Rosetch’s “coherent” guitar work

Prompting head scratching galore, Gary Rosetch, guitarist for 80’s seminal Noise Rock group The Shiny Turrets, has decided to play his guitar . . . correctly.  Rosetch shocked both fans and critics alike with the announcement of his latest stylistic shift (via Turretsquad), which will see the noise pioneer approach his instrument with an unprecedented amount of respect for both his listeners and the instrument’s creators.  The decision will include the release of a record consisting solely of virtuosic flamenco guitar work and a short-term position as lead guitarist in the popular easy-listening rock group Dressed Down.

The Brooklyn-based instrumentalist, 52, has arrived at the decision after years of playing his instrument with utter disregard for musical standards or constraints.  Over the course of his career, Rosetch expanded his out-of-the-box playing style, inventing a variety of signature guitar moves in the process, the most notable of his trademarks being the “dialtone,” a move that involves grinding a corded phone receiver against the bridge of his guitar while placing a collect call to his nephew.

Expectedly, not every fan is on board, but many are enthused about the new approach.  “It’s amazing, you know,” says superfan Charles Hilner, “I mean, the guy can actually play. You never would have guessed it under all that ear-splitting feedback.  Just look at him staying in key, playing within the restrictions of established scales, and fluently producing ear-pleasing notes.  Personally, I prefer the ear shattering cacophony he used to annihilate us with, but this definitely shows a side of the guy we didn’t even know existed.”

This Fall, Rosetch will embark on “The Silenced Turret Tour” to showcase his new-found sound.  Until then, fans will have to begrudgingly make their way to some Dressed Down shows to see Rosetch master the fretboard amid an array of monotonous, uninspired songs about loving women.  Needless to say, fans are much more excited about the new record and solo tour than his involvement with the mediocre-regarded rock band.  In fact, a countdown to the record’s release has been posted on the fansite, Turreterous.com.

Rosetch’s nephew, however, is thoroughly pleased about the whole thing.

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About Drew Litowitz

Sound advice.
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